This is a pretty personal story but I feel compelled to share it with you. My pregnancy has not been the glorious, glowing experience that I had hoped for. Don't get me wrong I'm totally excited about this little man's arrival; however, it seems much tough than with Emrie.
I have been experiencing anxiety attacks for about the past 4 months. I had a couple (the first in my life) right after I had Emrie which my doctor assured me was perfectly normal so I was a little panicked that I was having them so early. Once again, my doctor has assured me that lots of women experience exactly what I'm going through. I have to say it's a relief to know that I'm not completely losing my mind.
Anyway, last week I ended up with a sinus infection and became so congested I couldn't breath…which set off a series of anxiety attacks. If you've never had one they're really hard to explain…it's like being in a constant state of panic. So, imagine that feeling complicated by the fact that you actually cannot breathe! It was terrible.
Saturday, I went to the doctor. Yes I was the first one in line at Scott & White. And, thank God, the doctor on duty took pity on me and gave me some meds to help with my sinus infection, congestion and anxiety. But the story doesn't end there. Brian wanted to go to Houston to see his parents. I really wanted to go along but the thought of being trapped in a car and having an anxiety attack was enough for me to pass. So, Brian took the kids to Houston and my brother, Brandon (he's single ladies), drove over from Brenham to hang out with me (my parents were out of town).
Brandon and I hung out at the house most of day – catching up on brother/sister/family gossip. That afternoon, he suggested we go see a movie which seemed like a good idea at the time. We went to see Superman which I would assume under normal conditions would have been fine but being in the middle of a cramped theater surrounded by strangers was not a good idea. I had an anxiety attack right in the middle of the movie. Luckily, I had tucked one of the magic pills in my pocket which managed to calm me down within about 10 minutes – not too bad. However, by the time the movie was over I was feeling pretty bad again.
We stepped out of the movie and I asked Brandon to get me some water while I went to the bathroom. I remember standing there washing my hands thinking "How am I going to make it another 2 months feeling like this? I have got to get in touch with Dr. Appleton. There is no way I will survive this weekend." I simply closed my eyes and prayed that God would help me get through this. When I walked out of the bathroom, Brandon handed me some water and said he needed to make a quick stop in the men's room and he'd be right back (did I mention he's single?). I was standing there checking my phone for messages when someone walked up and touched my tummy…IT WAS DR. APPLETON!
I know this sounds made up but this is the truth. She and her husband were on their way to a movie. She saw me standing there and just wanted to check in. THANK YOU GOD! She told her husband to hang tight while she and I talked. I explained what was going on and she gave me a quick consult right there. She is an amazing doctor with such compassion (even in the movie theater). And, our God is an Awesome God.
I realize all my prayers will not be answered but I hope this serves as a reminder to any of you struggling…God Listens!
Speaking of God… Emrie was playing in Sunday school and popped her head on the wall (see below). It's just a little bump and scratch – nothing too bad. But she was so sweet holding her little ice pack on her head I had to smile. She'd hold it on her boo boo for a couple of seconds then open the bag and eat a piece of ice then put it back on her head. Apparently, that makes it feel better faster.